I woke up this morning and I realized I have not been myself since Dad died. I slipped into this daze of doing drugs and always playing the victim. What happened to the old me? Why am I not the kid that would stay up all night just writing stupid little songs? Why do I not sing Belle and Sebastian songs in my kitchen at 2 AM anymore? I don't need all these drugs anymore. I don't need it to cope. I will always love you Dad. It's now starting to feel okay that you aren't with me anymore. I don't need the drugs to cope. I've coped.
I'm not going to be this way anymore. I don't want to be high all the time. I don't want my life to revolve around my couch. I've lost contact with many friend this semester and I lost the girl I loved. I need to be myself again.
This starts today.
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