I really like the sound of your voice.

My blue shirt.

This is my new blue shirt. It might be the softest shirt I have ever worn. I would like nothing more than to hug you wearing my new blue shirt. I would like nothing more than to kiss you wearing my new blue shirt. (My apologies for the dirty mirror)

We didn't go to Idaville today because of the snow. I figure one snow accident is enough for the week.

I forgot that Stuart Murdoch taught me how to sing. Belle and Sebastian will always be the music of my life.

The Life Pursuit

Before I crashed my car I was listening and singing along to "Another Sunny Day" by Belle and Sebastian. I listened to it this morning. I've never heard a better song.

I found out I'm worth 20,000 more dollars today. What good is money to me right now? I'd rather spend it all on flowers for you. Or a Camera for you . Or maybe just save it so we have nothing to worry about when we travel.

Never for money. Always for love.

Just take me back to the days where the only thing that mattered was Love. There will be more sunny days and more rainy days that we can share.

Another sunny day, I met you up in the garden

You were digging plants, I dug you, beg your pardon
I took a photograph of you in the herbaceous border
It broke the heart of men and flowers and girls and trees

Another rainy day, we're trapped inside with a train set
Chocolate on the boil, steamy windows when we met
You've got the attic window looking out on the cathedral
And on a Sunday evening bells ring out in the dusk

Another day in June, we'll pick eleven for football
We're playing for our lives the referee gives us fuck all
I saw you in the corner of my eye on the sidelines
Your dark mascara bids me to historical deeds

Now everybody's gone you picked me up for a long drive
We take the tourist route the nights are light until midnight
We took the evening ferry over to the peninsula
We found the avenue of trees went up to the hill
That crazy avenue of trees, I'm living there still

There's something in my eye a little midge so beguiling
Sacrificed his life to bring us both eye to eye
I heard the Eskimos remove obstructions with tongues, dear
You missed my eye, I wonder why, I didn't complain
You missed my eye, I wonder why, please do it again

The lovin is a mess what happened to all of the feeling?
I thought it was for real; babies, rings and fools kneeling
And words of pledging trust and lifetimes stretching forever
So what went wrong? It was a lie, it crumbled apart
Ghost figures of past, present, future haunting the heart

Today's your day.

Happy Birthday Dad.

I have so much wrong going on with me right now. I wish I could talk to you about it. I love you.

I wanted you to go with me to Idaville today Laura. I know it wouldn't of been your ideal afternoon but I just wanted you to stand with me.

It's still there. Don't worry.

I miss you too sweetbeb.


I want to take you on an adventure.

Comets

I bought a Bill Haley and his Comets record today. It makes me want to move all the tables and chairs out of this living room and dance with you til both our feet are sore.

I love you Yoko Ono

In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night I call your name
Oh Yoko, oh Yoko, my love will turn you on

In the middle of the bath
In the middle of the bath I call your name
Oh Yoko, oh Yoko, my love will turn you on
My love will turn you on

In the middle of a shave
In the middle of a shave I call your name
Oh Yoko, oh Yoko, my love will turn you on

In the middle of a dream
In the middle of a dream I call your name
Oh Yoko, oh Yoko, my love will turn you on
My love will turn you on

In the middle of a cloud
In the middle of a cloud I call your name
Oh Yoko, oh Yoko, my love will turn you on
Oh Yoko, oh Yoko, oh Yoko, oh Yoko

Crash

Crashing my car is the last of my concerns. I thought of you and how I was going to get to you while I was crashing.

The picture of you on your blog made me cry. That was the last day for us.

Who am I anymore?

I woke up this morning and I realized I have not been myself since Dad died. I slipped into this daze of doing drugs and always playing the victim. What happened to the old me? Why am I not the kid that would stay up all night just writing stupid little songs? Why do I not sing Belle and Sebastian songs in my kitchen at 2 AM anymore? I don't need all these drugs anymore. I don't need it to cope. I will always love you Dad. It's now starting to feel okay that you aren't with me anymore. I don't need the drugs to cope. I've coped.

I'm not going to be this way anymore. I don't want to be high all the time. I don't want my life to revolve around my couch. I've lost contact with many friend this semester and I lost the girl I loved. I need to be myself again.

This starts today.

Colours

Yellow is the colour of my true love's hair,
In the morning, when we rise,
In the morning, when we rise.
That's the time, that's the time,
I love the best.

My bed is empty

My bed is a place that we used to rest. I think I'll crash on the couch tonight. :(

I really don't know how to deal with this. I used to talk to you when I was this sad. I don't think anyone else can really help me.

I would do anything right now just to have you here.

Day 1

I feel horrible. I can't control my shakes.

I want to talk to you so badly. I'm doing my best to not. I really want you to call me and make this all ok.

I want this to all be resolved. I want you back.

Our love was always special and unique to only us. It can't be duplicated. I don't want it to be duplicated.

Don't just let this go.

I'm wondering how you are feeling. I want to cheer you up if you are sad.

I went to the duckpond today to cry. I wept in the cold. Thanks for the gloves though.

Please call me. Please make this all better again. I love you and I don't feel right without you.

What I'm thinking about

Sunny Afternoons

Hands

Kisses

Lazing around

Having the time of my life doing absolutely nothing

Hearing you sleep

Cold Noses

Being weird

Beb

Only understanding what each other mean

Having a Best Friend

Knowing what it means to be truly happy

"Landed" - Ben Folds

Holding Hands in the park

"Ease your Feet in the Sea" - Belle and Sebastian

The Beginning of Summer

Jane

I really do like your art. You think I'm just saying that but I really do like it.

My Room at 225 N Thorne Street

Cedar Point

Grandaddy's Sumday Album

Calling you every Sunday

Your cool tricks

Blankets in the quad

Sneaking kisses when no one looks

Watching movies on my laptop

The backgrounds you put on my computer (The one of you pointing at me just came on the screen :( )

Your photography

The powerpoint you made me (I found this the other day. Right after I did I texted you that I loved you)

Weeping Willow trees

Behind Walmart

Sweetkeeses

Our own language

Spinal Tap

The day you told me you loved me for the first time

You made me smile somehow the day dad died. You were there within 10 minutes of me calling you.

Mint Chocolate Chip

Going on walks

"Kent Shearer Cannot Sing" - Kent Shearer

Staying up all night making you a case for a CD I burned you

Johnny Cash's "Walk the Line" on Ukelele

plzwarmhandsplz

My name is written on your bedroom wall

Looking at the art at the Honeywell center

"I love you beb"

I hope you come back.

I love you so much : (

The Earth

The world is not beautiful to me unless I have someone I love to see it with me.

Laura, I love you.

Positive Vibrations

All positive vibrations ended this morning. Good days just lead to bad days.

Wabash, Indiana

I realized what was missing from Wabash today. I won't be going there unless the conditions are right (ie Breaks.)

All I need is in Muncie. Very Thankful.

High Speed Adorable Girlfriend.

Noah

Oh when the wild was all covered by snow,
I forgot the colours that the grass tend to grow.
Oh the trees were all leafless,
And lifeless and black,
And I wondered if the leaves could grow back

For your heart is like a flower as it grows,
And its the rain, not just the sun that helps it bloom,
And you don't know how it feels to be alive,
Until you know how it feels to die

This is what I look like today.

Friendship.

I'm going to have to cancel this friendship. Sorry, It's not my responsibility for us to be friends. I have better friends anyway.

- Kent Shearer.

Sunshine, we all see the same sky. Looking, learning, asking the same "why?"

Don't Bother.

Wabash, I can't pretend I feel love for you.

I once loved you but the feeling has passed.

You have nothing to offer me anymore.

I have nothing left to say to Wabash Indiana.

Feel So Sad.

Sweet lord I know
I hate this lonely life so
Lord I know
Time goes slow
I feel so alone
Sweet lord

Sweet lord is this my fate

To live my life in this state
Lord I pray
I long for a change
But it still remains
Sweet lord

Sweet lord its a sin
To live this life sufferin'
I feel so sad

I feel so sad

Sweet lord

Goodbye.

I'm checking out these next couple of days.

Wabash isn't home anymore. I don't think Wabash will be seeing too much of me anymore. To all my old friends there, Goodbye forever.

Sincerely,

Kent Shearer

I completely agree with that mythology lecture and I am totally okay with that.

I've changed more than I thought that I have.

My hair is getting long.

I'm getting better at skateboarding.

Happiness runs in a circular motion.

Cyclical patterns are a common theme in my life.

Holy Moly

I'm so tired of religious beliefs controlling the world especially if it contradicts the fundamentals of the religion itself.

Since when are Muslims not peaceful people?

Since when is it alright to kill in the name of Jesus?

Jesus said to love your enemies. Loving them does not mean killing them.

Read your Qur'an. Read your Bible.

There are around 100,000 civilian casualties in Iraq right now. Innocent people are dying in the name of God/Allah everyday. Is that seriously happening? Islam and Christianity are almost just difference of opinions. People die over differences in opinions? I guess so.

I don't think I have it in me to kill anyone for any reason.

Thank God/Praise Allah I don't believe in any of that stuff.

My mind.

My mind floats in and out between reality and Donovan's Hurdy Gurdy Man record.

The state the I am in.

All I have to give you is my thoughts.

I miss you.

I don't even remember what some people look like in real life.

I wish I could see them.

England giraffes

Shout out to Emily Hinman. I know you read my blog everyday.

Secret #1

When I get really stressed out, I shake.

I shake often nowadays.

- Kent

Where I'll be.

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there.

I come home - she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place.

I can't tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?

There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this is where I'll be.

Where I'll be.

6 months.

It's been 6 months.

I love you so much Dad.

Saturday. Sunday.

Saturday:

I went to a show in Chicago. This is who played:

Foxy Shazam

Foxy ripped. So Much. They played a lot of new stuff. I didn't like that so much. Nonetheless, Holy fucking shit. Insane.

The Sounds

Wow. I had no idea how big the Sounds were in the gay community. Their set transformed the venue into a big homo dance club. This shit ruled. I'm 100% not gay but damn those gays know how to have fun.

The show totally ripped. I'd go see either band any day.

After the show we met up with my good friend Jocelyn.

Love you Joci.

I fell asleep on the way home : )

I woke up to this cat.

I skated today. I ripped. : )

When I was younger I knew how to levitate.

Early Morning Hymns

I woke up early this morning to take this picture

(Click on the picture. Save as a background.)

iPhoney

I can now blog via my iPhone. Oh lord.

We got a cat. His name is Percy.

- Kent

Penpals and pains

Did you know it takes less time to send a letter to China than it does to Florida?

How weird.

I have a long Chemistry Lab today. I am not looking forward to it. We only have 4 more left. One is hard (today), one is easy (next week), one involves Pizza (: D) and the other one I know nothing about. It's only 5 hours of my life.

I can't make myself go to Archeology this morning. I woke up early and everything. I just can't do it today. This happens too much.

This morning I am feeling completely different than I did yesterday. Yesterday was so beautiful and a happy time. Today is gloomy and at 10:47 AM I am stressed out. I hope this won't last.

I still need a vacation on life. I went pretty crazy at the end of last summer. I don't really feel like I'm done being crazy yet.

- Kent

Good Vibes

It's weird how a nice compliment can lead to positive vibrations the whole day. Someone told me I was a really nice person today. I know it sounds really stupid but that kind of made my day. I don't hear that everyday.

We watched a video in Geography today. I don't have any idea what it was even about. I decided writing my Chemical Analysis lab report would be a better use of my time. We ended up getting out of class early, right as I finished my report. It felt really good to have free time on a Tuesday. This is a site I've yet to see.

Shane came over. We hung out for a while and just chilled. He's been coming by a lot more lately. I like this. We ended up at Puerto Vallarta. I'm stuffed.

As I was walking home from class today I thought that it's really hard not to be happy somedays.

I made this.

Paint

Painting a sky is all I've had on my mind today.

I just wish I could paint.

You Kids take Err Easy

Friday:

I ventured over to Wabash, Indiana. When I arrived, I noticed it was wet. Skateboarding would be out of the picture. My original intent was to spend some time with a friend who recently got released from prison. It turns out he couldn't make it.

So there I am. By myself. In a town I had lived in just 3 months prior.

What has happened between now and then that has made Wabash so impossible for me?

Can I seriously not spend more than 3 hours alone in a town I am completely familiar with?

What happened to me?

I decided I would grab some food at Aztecaz. It was absolutely delicious. The perfect tasting lunch. However, does that even matter when I have absolutely no one to tell how good it tastes?

As I ate I thought of everyone I know who still lives in Wabash. I could think of only 2 people that was worth getting ahold of. Unfortunately they are both in high school still and I was eating while they were still in class. I ended up being all mopey so I went down to Jacks Antiques. Here are some pictures from the store:

I found a couple records I wanted at Jack's. I got in particular Johnny Horton's "Greatest Hits". This is incredible. I'm pretty sure anyone reading this probably doesn't know Johnny's music or is overly familiar but it's definitely significant to me. Dad used to play me and my brothers "The Battle of New Orleans" on the boombox. I can now play this on vinyl along with a lot other of Dad's records. I really miss him.

Saturday:

I woke up to one of my homies telling us that he is leaving. Maybe forever. This guy comes to our house everyday and we go skating. How do I react to this?

I just went on with the plans I had already made, cleaning the house. This was so weird. I just sat there and cleaned but the whole time I was just wondering if this guy was for real out or not. This just tripped me out. He eventually came over to give us some of his stuff. Looking him in the eye was weird. It was like he was just looking right through me. He left saying his usual "You Kids take err Easy" but this time he had tears in his eyes.

Within a couple hours, I had to say my goodbyes to a friend.

Fuuuuuuuck.

In the evening we were all just kind of hanging with each other. We were all bummed on the state of our friend but we just continued on. We went to Noodles and Company. It was good. We then went to Walmart to buy a lamp. We ended up getting a lava lamp and a buttload of candy. We concluded the night with some vinyl records, circles and some pizza.

Sunday:

I woke up an hour before I was expecting to (Thank You Mitch Daniels for the extra hour of sleep this morning). Eckman was up and he was wanting to go on a drive through the country. For some reason, this drive was perfect. It was an incredibly beautiful drive. The sun was shining in a way that nothing could really be or go wrong. Our world was at ease for a moment. We both got home feeling good because of what we had just experienced. Eckman got a text. Our friend fell asleep in the Airport. He had purchased a one way ticket to England. He came back to his senses in the morning. I always knew our friend was bipolar, but I had never experienced it. He said that he didn't remember the last 4 days. Wow. Quite interesting. He came back by in the evening. His eyes were back to normal. What a trip.

Recent Observations

Observation 1:

No one truly realizes how beautiful they are. They focus on their imperfections and automatically consider themselves ugly. It doesn't matter if you are too short, too tall, you have pimples, your nose is crooked or if your hair is all jacked. Doesn't matter. These things are not what make people beautiful.

Smile more. You're all so beautiful.

Observation 2:

Having any form of belief makes you look crazy.

but having no beliefs makes you envious in your isolation.

Home.

I cannot believe this kid is 3.

The sun is a very magic fellow.

He shines down on me each day.

The wind is a very fickle fellow

He blows all my dreams away.

The rain is a very sad lady,

She falls down on me sometimes.

The sea is a very, very old man,

Deeper than the deepest blue.

The moon is a typical lady,

I watch her wax and wane.

A star is so very far away, love,

Just between you and me.

A song is a pillow for my sadness,

She sings all my cares away.

Loving all my cares away,

She sings all my cares away